Changes?

The other day I had a dream that I was pregnant and I didnt think of it as anything. But then I got curious and wondered what it really meant. So I googled it and this is what it said.

"To dream that you are pregnant symbolizes an aspect of yourself or some aspect of your personal life that is growing and developing. You may not be ready to talk about it or act on it. Being pregnant in your dream may also represent the birth of a new idea, direction, project or goal. Alternatively, if you are trying to get pregnant, then the dream may be a wish fulfillment. If you are not trying to get pregnant, but dream that you are, then it symbolizes fear of new responsibilities. "

I found that pretty interesting because its mainly true. Alot about my life is changing. For the better I think. Im budgeting and its going AMAZING. I feel so awesome when I spend money becuase thats how I planned to spend my money. Its an amazing feeling. I think I am going to be a crazy budget lady some day. Im also moving out. well.. moving my stuff. I have been living with Matt and Alyssa for a little over a month now and its been awesome. I feel like ive grown SO MUCH as a person, and as an adult. Being an adult I even am getting myself a birthday gift. I fit it into my budget and everything.. so Im super excited.

Im also excited for christmas. Ive also learned alot about christmas. This year for me is going to be super different. At my house we have ALOT of decorations and alot of little knick knacks. I loved it as a child but getting older.. I hate decorating for 3 days and then Undecorating for 5 days after. I have been listening to christmas music for the past 5 days however. But thats besides the fact. ive always just wanted a nice tree in the corner and maybe like one set of lights hanging up. I never wanted to tell my mom that because she always wanted to go crazy with everything. so I just left it and went on with my life. Another big different thing is gifts. I wont be able to give as many gifts because I dont have my mom to buy them or whatever. I wont get as many either because frankily i dont think my family will buy me any this year but its ok. With Matt and Alyssa I acually feel like a family.. and I know that sounds really crappy but its true. I always tried to be a family at home. I would ask if anyone wanted to play a board game and nobody ever did so I gave up and stopped asking and just stayed in my room and do my own thing. So im excited for the nights im going to have drinking hot chocolate and watching some crazy werid movie or watching an episode of community with them.

I love my family. and I hope then next year ( or even this year ) ill be able to visit have some hot chocolate and watch a movie with them and just spend christmas like ive always wanted. But who knows, its their call. I also feel really mean saying that im happy right now. Then I realized that im not happy becuase I love leaving my family, but instead im happy that I dont have to fight with them. As much as they dont think that it hurts when I fight with them it really does. If they want me in their life in the future thats cool, if they dont then I cant do anything but all I can do is hope for the best, and hope that they can take this time and not think of it as me walking away.

This blog is called "Becoming an adult is hard". and I have truly seen how hard it is, but I have also seen the easy parts of it. I was thinking to myself that I should change the name of it but then I said no because even tho im turning into an adult in 12 days I still have alot to learn. Im only 18. Even 75 year old people have things to learn and even at that age things get tough. Things in life will always be tough.. But when times are tough you have to remember to be strong and..

Life Long, Laugh Hard and Love Strong ♥