Once Again I Suck! its been 11 days since I last Posted something. But I can explain I promise! As everyone knows its December.. which means crazy holiday month. I work in a high traffic mall so as the people buy their gifts I get more hours YAY. (which is why this year I got gifts early). but on top of that I am planning the christmas dinner for the church which is this Saturday which is really freaking me out because I am the kind of people who always think of bad things.. so like im thinking to myself what if nobody likes the food or what if im not fast enough and people get angry because they are hungry or like what if I burn everything...On Friday I did a practise run on the food and it all tasted good. So thats im pretty happy about. But I still have the stress of that.
Im also happy and excited because I got approved to be a team leader at CBOQ's youth retreat event which makes me supper happy but once again super scared. I know I will be an awesome leader then like I said I think of the bad stuff so In my head Im thinking what if I ruin some kids childhood by telling them something stupid. Or anything else worse. So I have been constantly praying about that. Another bad thing I did this week was melt a spatula into a pot of boiling marshmellows... I just left it in the pot and walked away like a stupid person then as I was spreading the mix the piece fell off.. then I felt very stupid.
On the good side of things im done school til the new year!! :D so now I can have my mind set on work and money and my leadership role. I have also been thinking about alot of other things. Matt told me that I am "graduating" from the youth group and that I cant go to things like CBOQ Youth Retreats anymore or Change Conference anymore. At first I didnt understand and didnt mind. But then I thought.. what am I going to do not going to those amazing things. I Always feel closer to God when i spend time with the youth. But I think its because everyone is so amazingly nice and awesome and I just wish I could be with everyone everyday of the week. But I cant. I Remember the first year in Bathurst, New Brunswick there was one day that everyone was kind of annoyed with everyone and it was a tough day and I went outside the church and looked around and realized that im with my best friends in a province I have never been in before, That day I never felt Gods presence so strong in my life. So if me graduating means that I cant go to Bathurst I dont know what im going to do. I have pray about it alot because I love feeling God's presence and Im scared that if I cant do things with the youth group then how am I ever going to feel the same. So im Pretty Torn about that.
It also made me realize that im not going to be 18 forever. Which really scares me. But everyone has to grow up and die so im just a puzzle piece in Gods Plan. Well im going to pray like crazy for the next month. Im also going to try to post blogs more but that doesnt always happen.. so life goes on. If i dont post before the 21st and thw world ends (Which it wont) then this is my last post. :P But other then that. have a good rest of the week! :D
Live Long, Laugh Hard, Love Strong ♥
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