SORRY!

Once Again I Suck! its been 11 days since I last Posted something. But I can explain I promise! As everyone knows its December.. which means crazy holiday month. I work in a high traffic mall so as the people buy their gifts I get more hours YAY. (which is why this year I got gifts early). but on top of that I am planning the christmas dinner for the church which is this Saturday which is really freaking me out because I am the kind of people who always think of bad things.. so like im thinking to myself what if nobody likes the food or what if im not fast enough and people get angry because they are hungry or like what if I burn everything...On Friday I did a practise run on the food and it all tasted good. So thats im pretty happy about. But I still have the stress of that.

Im also happy and excited because I got approved to be a team leader at CBOQ's youth retreat event which makes me supper happy but once again super scared. I know I will be an awesome leader then like I said I think of the bad stuff so In my head Im thinking what if I ruin some kids childhood by telling them something stupid. Or anything else worse. So I have been constantly praying about that. Another bad thing I did this week was melt a spatula into a pot of boiling marshmellows... I just left it in the pot and walked away like a stupid person then as I was spreading the mix the piece fell off.. then I felt very stupid.

On the good side of things im done school til the new year!! :D so now I can have my mind set on work and money and my leadership role. I have also been thinking about alot of other things. Matt told me that I am "graduating" from the youth group and that I cant go to things like CBOQ Youth Retreats anymore or Change Conference anymore. At first I didnt understand and didnt mind. But then I thought.. what am I going to do not going to those amazing things. I Always feel closer to God when i spend time with the youth. But I think its because everyone is so amazingly nice and awesome and I just wish I could be with everyone everyday of the week. But I cant. I Remember the first year in Bathurst, New Brunswick there was one day that everyone was kind of annoyed with everyone and it was a tough day and I went outside the church and looked around and realized that im with my best friends in a province I have never been in before, That day I never felt Gods presence so strong in my life. So if me graduating means that I cant go to Bathurst I dont know what im going to do. I have pray about it alot because I love feeling God's presence and Im scared that if I cant do things with the youth group then how am I ever going to feel the same. So im Pretty Torn about that. 

It also made me realize that im not going to be 18 forever. Which really scares me. But everyone has to grow up and die so im just a puzzle piece in Gods Plan. Well im going to pray like crazy for the next month. Im also going to try to post blogs more but that doesnt always happen.. so life goes on. If i dont post before the 21st and thw world ends (Which it wont) then this is my last post. :P But other then that. have a good rest of the week! :D

Live Long, Laugh Hard, Love Strong ♥

18 Years Old And Counting.

YAY. Im finally 18. To Me 18 is a sucky year because you cant drink yet. (Not that im going to get drunk because I have no interest in that) and everyone still thinks of you as a child. All my co-workers still call me kiddo and child and yeah i am younger then them but they all said when im 19 im an adult. So in there heads 19 is the better year. However im able to buy lottery tickets :D (I didnt win anything for my first one i got.) Anyway. Matt and Alyssa went to a 4 day conference this weekend. I kind of enjoyed being alone because I have alot of time to think about alot of things. I had to realize that im not a kid anymore. That every noise I heard I couldnt call my mom and cry. I also learned that dishes dont wash themselves. I didnt have much dishes because I worked alot but it still was really annoying.

One good thing that I learned is that I can do it. November was a good month. I budgeted all month and learned that i dont need to spend money theres no point to spend money on useless things. I also learned that no matter how busy i am i always make time to walk the dog. Even if an adult is busy they still have to rememeber the little things. I keep thinking about Alyssa and Matt because when the baby comes they will be alot more busy then they are now. But if they can do it i know that when im older and become a mom i can do it to. It all takes practise to be an adult. I have been looking for an apartment which im finding super hard because i cant afford it. Im also stressed because i dont want to overstay at Matt and Alyssas. I Keep praying about it to hopefully i can find something soon and get out of their hair. I hope im not to annoying.

Im a little stressed that christmas is in 14 days.. i have 3 presents and thats it. I still need a few more. Itsnot just that. My Boss told me today then the next two weeks ill be packed with work because as the malls get busy people get hungry and come to moxies to eat food. I love money but I also love to relax at home. :P Anyway thats apart of being an adult. Hope Christmas shopping is easy for everyone who reads this. :)


Live Long, Laugh Hard, Love Strong ♥

Three Things Thursday..Kinda

so its been a week.. im sorry. Update is that I have moved out. Im still with Matt and Alyssa but have all my clothes and important things with me. so I feel better. Im also getting a bed pretty soon. I am currently looking for a dresser from kijii. Thats coming along nice. Today I woke up feeling really crappy. I however looked to the side and saw a big pile of clothes that I didnt put away last night. so i started with that.. I Put all my clothes away. Then I started getting in the mood so this is what I did all day!...

1.) Walked Mr.Nimoy. Which I love doing because he is the awesomest dog ever..

2.) Made an awesome salad for Alyssa and I.

3.) Applied to be a captain for avalanche (which is a church retreat that the junior highs go to)

4.) Planned out the churchs christmas dinner some more. ( Made a Shopping List )

5.) Made a meal plan for next week. ( Matt and Alyssa are going to this conference )

6.) Worked on my website ( for school )

7. Helped make awesome cheese bread.

That may not seem like alot of stuff but i feel really proud.. not to mention i wrote this blog.. Now all i have left to do it drink some more hot chocolate and watch vampire dairies then go to bed early. YAY! Yes.. i know this blog sucks however i felt bad because i havent written one in a long time.. and i probably wait another week to write another one..

Live Long, Laugh Hard, Love Strong ♥

Changes?

The other day I had a dream that I was pregnant and I didnt think of it as anything. But then I got curious and wondered what it really meant. So I googled it and this is what it said.

"To dream that you are pregnant symbolizes an aspect of yourself or some aspect of your personal life that is growing and developing. You may not be ready to talk about it or act on it. Being pregnant in your dream may also represent the birth of a new idea, direction, project or goal. Alternatively, if you are trying to get pregnant, then the dream may be a wish fulfillment. If you are not trying to get pregnant, but dream that you are, then it symbolizes fear of new responsibilities. "

I found that pretty interesting because its mainly true. Alot about my life is changing. For the better I think. Im budgeting and its going AMAZING. I feel so awesome when I spend money becuase thats how I planned to spend my money. Its an amazing feeling. I think I am going to be a crazy budget lady some day. Im also moving out. well.. moving my stuff. I have been living with Matt and Alyssa for a little over a month now and its been awesome. I feel like ive grown SO MUCH as a person, and as an adult. Being an adult I even am getting myself a birthday gift. I fit it into my budget and everything.. so Im super excited.

Im also excited for christmas. Ive also learned alot about christmas. This year for me is going to be super different. At my house we have ALOT of decorations and alot of little knick knacks. I loved it as a child but getting older.. I hate decorating for 3 days and then Undecorating for 5 days after. I have been listening to christmas music for the past 5 days however. But thats besides the fact. ive always just wanted a nice tree in the corner and maybe like one set of lights hanging up. I never wanted to tell my mom that because she always wanted to go crazy with everything. so I just left it and went on with my life. Another big different thing is gifts. I wont be able to give as many gifts because I dont have my mom to buy them or whatever. I wont get as many either because frankily i dont think my family will buy me any this year but its ok. With Matt and Alyssa I acually feel like a family.. and I know that sounds really crappy but its true. I always tried to be a family at home. I would ask if anyone wanted to play a board game and nobody ever did so I gave up and stopped asking and just stayed in my room and do my own thing. So im excited for the nights im going to have drinking hot chocolate and watching some crazy werid movie or watching an episode of community with them.

I love my family. and I hope then next year ( or even this year ) ill be able to visit have some hot chocolate and watch a movie with them and just spend christmas like ive always wanted. But who knows, its their call. I also feel really mean saying that im happy right now. Then I realized that im not happy becuase I love leaving my family, but instead im happy that I dont have to fight with them. As much as they dont think that it hurts when I fight with them it really does. If they want me in their life in the future thats cool, if they dont then I cant do anything but all I can do is hope for the best, and hope that they can take this time and not think of it as me walking away.

This blog is called "Becoming an adult is hard". and I have truly seen how hard it is, but I have also seen the easy parts of it. I was thinking to myself that I should change the name of it but then I said no because even tho im turning into an adult in 12 days I still have alot to learn. Im only 18. Even 75 year old people have things to learn and even at that age things get tough. Things in life will always be tough.. But when times are tough you have to remember to be strong and..

Life Long, Laugh Hard and Love Strong ♥

Christmas. ♥

Merry Christmas ♥ :D So I know Im like 2 months too early but HEY, the stores are already playing christmas music. Also My Birthday is in 18 days. So basically the next two months are the best months of my life.  Im kind of freaking out because im going to be turning 18. Ive always hated thinking about turning 18 because then in my mind im like " I have like 80 more years.. if im lucky" I also know that, that is a long time but I freak out mainly because im scared to die. That is another story. Yesterday I got ttc tokens and felt awesome getting them because it was part of my budget. I didnt feel bad spending 52 dollars because thats what it was meant for! However today when I went to chapters I spent to much money. I was out of my budget and I felt horrible but so far ive done a good job.

It seems like life is going by so fast.. its really scary. I Guess thats how things go however. Also it feels like I slept in forever.. My mind is full of so many things I just cant relax and sleep. My body sleeps but not my mind. So all the days are starting to blur together.. which sucks so much. I dont know what any day is.

I feel like im getting better at blogging! I hope my blogs are getting better and that you guys acually like it. Like i said in my last post im pretty stuck in my life and alot of the time I dont know what to write. Thats all I have for this blog :P

Live Long, Laugh Hard, Love Strong. ♥

Stuck.

Lately I have been.. stuck.. on alot of things. Meaning I pretty much cant make any choices, or cant do any work because my mind just wont let me. so im stuck. In a pit of nothing. Writing this blog is really hard.

Today I learned another thing that makes being an adlut hard. Today I paid my rent, and groceries.. and was left with nothing til my next pay check. That really freaked me out because of the fact that next pay check im going to have to pay my phone bill, and other bills.. when do bills end.. never. Everytime I turn the corner I have another bill. I always wanted to write a blog and I love doing it but sometimes im stuck and have nothing to write. Im sorry for this fail of a blog. However I am going to see someone that can help me process my thoughts so I can be awesome for you guys.

Im Stuck like a mouthpiece on a trumpet..

Thats all I have for today.

Being an Adult is hard..

Live Long, Laugh Hard, Love Strong ♥

Money Wise Month.

so, the goal of everyother day is gone out the window.. why? because LIFE happens. Anyway. This Month is going to be the best month EVER. No, not just because its my birthday month :P but because Im going to be (or at least try) an Adult. a full on adult, someone is going to pay for rent, pay for groceries, and other stuff that adults need. :p a couple of months ago Alyssa taught me how to budget. I loved the idea and never really followed thru with it. However in Class we are doing budgets and I really want to try and budget, now that im an "adult". I really need to learn how to manage money or I will be in big trouble.. So here are my goals this month.

1.) Make a legit budget and stick with it.I Have this problem with starting something and never finishing it. not this month, I have to learn to save money and not spend it on stupid things. I also have to try to not go over my budget, to accept it and believe that I can do it.

2.)Open a high-Intrest savings account.Since im going to be turning 18 in 26 days, my bank told me I should open one so that I can earn a little more money as I save.

3.)Stay Organized.
I have to make sure that with my new plans I stay organized with it and not lose the point of my budget, I think that im pretty good staying organized so this should be not a problem for me.

This month it going to be the best however I also think it will be the hardest. This is the month that I think I will realize what being a adult is like. It will be tough but I know I can do it.

For the past three weeks ive been out of my house ive felt ALOT of stress, and im pretty much sleep deprived..however I feel happy. Ive already had so many fun experiences. Painful but awesome massages, Chilling at the bluffs during a storm and taking videos, walking the dog to warden and eating icecream in a cart shelter, or even just sitting in the same room, on the same couch and being a family while watching tv. Ive learned that I cant take any moments for granted because who knows where ill be in a month, I might not be able to have thoses experiences. Right now im content with my life. Its stressful, yet amazing. How does that work..? Who knows.. I have alot more to learn as an Adult but I think I can handle it.